Consult This!

Recently, a friend shared that her significant other didn't like it when invitations from her friends or family came addressed to "& Guest." At first, I thought this was simply wedding etiquette. If the person you are inviting lives with someone or is seriously dating someone (or if you have unlimited funds and can let all your single friends bring guests), then you address it to her "& Guest". If you know their significant other and he or she would be invited to the wedding with or without their partner, then that is when names are to be used.

However, while doing my homework last night, I came across this tid-bit.

"Using the words "and guest" on an invitation is improper. Because a wedding isn't an ordinary party, all of those invited are considered special guests. If the bride or groom doesn't know their names, they're not very special! Therefore, if a couple intends to invite unmarried guests to bring dates and friends with them to the wedding, they must find out the name of these dates and friends."

Confused, I double checked this Wediquette with Madame Emily (http://www.emilypost.com/etipedia) and to my surprise, she said the same.

Since it's awkward and impersonal to address the outer envelope as "Mr. James Smith and Guest," the two envelope system works well. Address the outer envelope to "Mr. James Smith" and the inner envelope to "Mr. James Smith and Guest." If you're only using one envelope, include a short note with your invitation: "Dear James, You're welcome to bring a guest to the wedding. Please let me know. Best, Laura." If there's time and James supplies the information, you can send his guest an invitation, too.

While I am a bit surprised based on the invitations I have seen in the past as well as recently, I am happy to see this. In the age of the text message, Google and Facebook, there isn't much of an excuse for not knowing your wedding guest's names, even if they are just someone's date. Hopefully, Brides (and those lucky Grooms that get roped into addressing invites too) brush up on their wediquette before addressing invites to get the most up-to-date rules. I don't agree that weddings should be 100% by the book, but when it comes to saving face and feelings, I think any little extra step is worth it! (And your guests will too!)