Wediquette

I have been asked this question a few times over the past year. "Do we have to invite them, just cause they invited us?" Now that I know the proper etiquette, I wanted to share.

If the Bride and/or Groom were invited to and attended another couple’s wedding, they should invite that couple, especially if the weddings are comparable in size. The exception to this rule is if the bride and groom have not spoken to the former bride or groom in over a year’s time.

Patience may be a virtue,                                        but it has never been a virtue of mine.

It never will be.

So, when Black and Gold Bride told me that she had to wait until it snowed to take her engagement pictures, I thought to myself “You’re kidding me right? How am I going to wait until the snow? I want to see them. Now.” Then, when it finally snowed, I may or may not have texted her in a frenzy going, “YOU HAVE TO TAKE YOUR PHOTOS THIS WEEKEND IT IS GOING TO SNOW!!!!” Luckily, she can’t de-bridesmaid me for rushing her because her pictures turned out spectacular! (Though this is mainly attributed to Joanna Fassinger of Joanna Fassinger Photography and not so much my impatience). We were able to get a sneak peek of the pictures at Joanna's booth at the Bridal Show last weekend, and then last week (after a lot of obsessive Facebook checking on both mine and Black and Gold Bride's part), they were finished and posted!

Hopefully, since it sets up the rest of the post, Black and Gold Bride won't mind if I share two of my favorites with the 5 (wonderful) people that read this blog.

You know how much I value photography, and how important it is to ManFriend and me for our “Big Day.”  I squealed with delight (in my head because I needed to keep my crazy underwraps) when I found out our photographer posts a "sneak peek image" on her blog the night of or day after a wedding. Sometimes, I may go overboard with my love for pictures. If you have seen our house, you know that that "sometimes" is an understatement. 

However, I think it’s important that, on whatever level or price point you are, you take time to get engagement pictures done. Of course, I first and foremost recommend that you use your wedding photographer for your engagement session, to help you and your fiancé become comfortable with his/her shooting style before the wedding, as well as for you all to get comfortable with each other at a time when nerves and emotions are not high and you can relax and enjoy the experience.

If you aren’t able to take advantage of your wedding photographer’s E-Pic offerings, why not ask after recent graduates from the local Art School looking to build their portfolio? Or keep an eye out for photographers that are holding day-long sessions where you can schedule a half-hour to hour “couple session”? It’s important to take these pictures because you’re only engaged once (God willing), and it’s a really special time for you both as a couple, because you’ve just decided that you’re going to start “Forever” together, and you’re impatiently waiting for that to begin.

Look at some engagement photos. (I’ll post some at the end of this page) You can tell how excited, how in love a couple is, and it’s these pictures that will help you the most when you’re ready to strangle each other because he won’t step away from the X-Box or she refuses to do the dishes (not that I know anything about that). I kid, I kid. But if you still don’t believe me that the are important, how about these reasons?

1. They Mean Something- E-pics are meant to express your style as a couple, and to show off your hobbies and your personal preferences like, how you normally wear your hair or what favorite  team adorns his well-worn hat. If you love to fish, you can get your pictures taken on a boat, with a fish, or casting poles over a bridge. If you love to dance, take your pictures while you’re getting your groove back, dancing in the middle of a night club, or even just the street. Engagement pictures have come a long way since sitting still and posing for portraits (unless you’re Prince William and Kate Middleton), and it’s to your advantage to use them to express your “couple style” and preserve  this short but very special time!

2. Familiarity- How often do you spend a few hours with a camera in your face, focusing solely on you and your other half? Most of you probably can’t remember a time when this has happened. How do you know how to react? How to adjust? How to be comfortable? Engagement shoots are a great way to become familiar with being the “star of the show.”  You can re-take your E-Pics 100 times if you pull a Ricky Bobby and don’t know what to do with your hands, but, you can’t re-take your wedding photos. So get familiar.

3. Wedding Personalization - Want to showcase pictures of yourself in your guest book, centerpieces, programs, etc.? Your e-pics will be more appropriate than the shot of you two hanging out at the bar at you best friend's wedding, and a little more timely than the picture from his Fraternity formal Junior year. Those pictures are best left for a slideshow. Display your favorite e-pics throughout your reception to not only show them off, but, personalize your day even more. People love pictures and if you utilize them in a way that forces guest to mix and mingle, they can serve as a source of entertainment as well.

4. THEY ARE FUN! - Now you know that I don't know this from experience, but, we were able to take advantage of a "couples shoot" with our dog, Pete in October, and I can tell you, it was a blast. And from all the couples I've talked to and all the pictures I've seen, if you've got the right photographer, the right state of mind, the right location and, quite possibly, a great new outfit, you are bound to have the time of your life! A little enjoyment amidst the stress of wedding planning, or the work week, or whatever ails you, is a wonderful thing. (And then you end up with awesome pictures.... what a bonus!)

And now some of the fun ones I found by searching "Creative Engagement Photos"
(all photographers are credited at the bottom of their pictures)

 

Consult This!

"Ultimately, being a bridal consultant is like being a professional friend. You'll give advice, calm nerves, and settle little (and big) disputes every day. You will hate your brides, but you will love them no matter what. And when your idea comes out on top, you will silently celebrate or whisper to yourself, 'I told you so' "

-Lesson 3: The Role of the Consultant

If Music Be the Food of Love ...

" You'll wear white and I'll wear out the words 'I love you' and 'You're Beautiful' "

My dear friend, Vintage Blue Bride, is using this as her wedding song in August. Recently, I have begun to hear it on the radio on a daily basis. It gives me butterflies because I can picture her and her groom dancing across the floor to it. And when I listen to the lyrics, I hear their relationship and their personalities in them. That, to me, is the perfect song. It doesn't matter if anyone has ever heard it before, or if it's maybe a bit too fast, or if it isn't on the list of "100 Best Wedding Songs." I think everyone should have that song that when you hear it 5, 10 years later, you still go, "That's us."

And though I disparaged lists a little earlier, I think everyone needs a jumping off point. If my approval means anything to you, I approve these lists (though not all the songs on them. I personally feel Celine' should have sunk instead of that billion dollar diamond...), and I think there are some awesome ideas on them. But, I also suggest watching a lot of movies and listening carefully. Some of the greatest little-known songs are used as background music in movies. Untapped goldmine. For real.

50 Classic First Dance Songs

50 Non-Traditional Songs

Just for Kicks!

Knock It Off

This?

Is not

This.

Sorry David's Bridal. I don't mean to knock you so much on this blog, but, you're not doing yourself any favors.

Vera Wedding Gowns are not meant to be cheap. Save your pennies if you really want one.

HERE WE GO!

"We're from the town with the big Football team.

We cheer the Pittsburgh Steelers!

Winning's a Habit, not only a Dream.

Go out and Get them Steelers!"

The Steeler Polka

“We're playing in the Super Bowl, so how can we have a letdown? I can't see how that can happen.”

"I always have something up my sleeve. We'll see what happens.”

"The mesh of our personalities and the way we work together makes us as tight of a group as we are.”

"We're the Pittsburgh Steelers. We have fans everywhere.”

"I look good in Black and Gold."

"Y'all want to come in now? All the non-believers. You want to come in now?”

“Superman ain't got nothing on me. Kryptonite? C'mon now. You're never going to hear me say that somebody is tougher than me. Because I don't believe somebody else could be tougher than me.”



"You see what we do. We don't need to say much."

"Coach told us we're not going just to be there.

Nobody remembers who loses."

"I've got a big smile on my face, I can't stop smiling. I've been living on a roller-coaster; right now it's at the top. "

"I think if you look at Pittsburgh, it's really just a town of hard workers, a town of blue-collar people, and they appreciate that in their team. They want to see hard work, they want to see you lay your heart on the line every week to try to win football games. So we give it to them."

"A win and 100 yards, that's the best thing since sliced bread."

"Our defense throws so much at you, it's tough to get anything by them. I'm just glad I'm on their side and I don't have to face them on Sundays.”

"I know in my heart that I'm playing in that game,"


"Hungry is a word that I've been analyzing here of late. It's not hunger that drives me, it's not hunger that needs to drive our football team. Hunger and thirst are things that can be quenched. We have to be a driven group, we have to seek greatness."

The Big Show

Yesterday, I spent most of the Packers/Bears game sifting through the two bags of wedding paraphernalia that I collected at Cavanaugh's Bridal Show on Saturday. I personally feel bad taking little gifts from people (like bubbles, cake, cake, pens, cake, cake, and more cake), without listening to their spiel as well. This is a flaw when attending conventions of any kind, as I end up with paper after paper of information I never really wanted. But I also end up with a belly full of cake. Lose/Win?

Going to the Bridal Show certainly puts in perspective just how much you could do with a wedding, and just how quickly you could get carried away. Each time we entered a photo booth, I thought, "Oooo! HOW GREAT WOULD THIS BE?!" When I passed by the 6-tier Pink and Green cake with an M on the front, I definitely pictured it sitting on a table at my shower. And don't get me started on the Bruster's "Name Your Own Tub" Ice Cream Bar. How can we NOT have that at our wedding?

Luckily, I don't travel to these things alone. (Thank you, girls)

Despite making me feel like spending left and right, Bridal Shows have merit, and the specials that vendors often have while exhibiting at them are definitely worth checking out. I would go so far as to suggest that once you narrow down a list of venues, you go to a Bridal Show and check out their "Day Of" specials on those venues. One place we looked at was offering $1500 off their rental fee. Another offered 10% off your entire food/beverage bill if you booked with them that day. I don't encourage booking blindly. You have to go visit the site, but, if you're already familiar, you can definitely save a few $$ through one of these shows.

Similarly, they are a great way to comparison shop. 10 Tuxedo Shops were featured at this show, most displaying their basic black tux and array of vest colors (and in one case, a gorgeous Chocolate Brown tux that I may be in love with). Because all the booths are just a short walk away from each other, you can easily sample their color selection, their styles and their prices in one afternoon. The same goes for the aforementioned Photo Booths, DJs, Bakerys, Invitations, etc., etc., etc.! It can certainly be overwhelming, but, if you go in with a game plan, or at least a map, you can benefit greatly from what's being showcased.

However, if you're planning on giving out your information, I suggest you make a "Wedding" e-mail address. This stops you from getting 100 e-mails a day clogging your personal or work e-mail, telling you about a special on $6.00 chair covers or forcing offers of Avon down your throat. Definitely a drawback to registering for these shows, but, totally manageable.

All in all, I love Bridal Shows. It's like a big opportunity-filled playground, and it seems to me that people that work in weddings are happy people, and I like being surrounded by that many happy people (and cakes).

"What in Car-nation?!"

Carrie Bradshaw said, "I think Carnations are making a comeback."
From recent posts I've been seeing, I'm starting to think, as usual, Miss Bradshaw was right.

I took these pictures from all over the internet, but, I will admit this post was inspired by "Carnations Can be Chic" Seeing that made even me, who plans on being an "anti-flower bride" (more on that later!), remember how much I love Carnations. And since they will usually run you less than $0.25 a stem, their comeback makes perfect sense!

Two Gold Stars

I have to admit, so far, I haven’t worked too hard at my Wedding Planner studies, mainly because I haven’t had to. Obsession pays off, folks.

Thanks to my extensive internal knowledge pool (we’ll go ahead and give props to TLC and WE for their fine programming, too), I was able to breeze through the first two tests. I didn’t think this was a big deal because the first test was on Study Skills, and the second was Intro to Planning. However, Penn Foster begs to differ. They are very proud of me.

I especially love the motivational quotes. Here's hoping for about 15 more of these e-mails to come!

Happiness is a Green Room

I’m pretty sure I already knew what I wanted while we were aimlessly driving around Cecil Township, but, I tried not to show it. Mike thought these photographer meetings were about “surveying our options” and “seeing who best fit our ‘couple style’ “ (Alright, you caught me, Mike never said, “Couple Style” but, you get the point!). But when you know, you know right?

And I know.  Did it have something to do with the fact that her office is painted bright green and there were decorative pillows on the plastic chairs? Yes. Did it have something to do with the fact that I’ve been mooning over her blog since its beginnings? You bet. Was Mike’s decision swayed by her and her husband’s affinity for one of our favorite shows, Tosh.0? Duh.

But, really, the biggest factor was how much she seemed to understand our couple dynamic. She didn’t say it was weird that we were “Photographer Shopping” sans a diamond promise, nor did she get offended when Mike’s main question was “Do you have a bathroom?” (sooooo embarrassing). When she walked us through her typical wedding day, I could picture ours exactly, despite only having bits and pieces of it solidified. I could see our colors, our people and us, and I knew that I wanted them captured by her.  There was just something that was right. That “something” plus the overwhelming talent that shines through in her photography, and, well, there you have it.

Disappointingly, though, I’m 100% sure I sounded like a babbling idiot more than twice yesterday. This assumption is backed up by the fact that I’ve been crafting the “Please please please be our photographer” e-mail for most of my morning. And I will probably send it to someone to proofread, to make sure it doesn’t sound like a love letter and I don’t come off like a giant creep. Does/did anyone else react this way to things? I fear I might be touched.

Next Mission-  Deciding which vice in my life I’m giving up so I can label all my pennies: “FTW” (For the Wedding). Expect a lot of “D-I-Y” and “Budget Bride” posts.

eeek!

We are going to do our first seriously wedding related thing!!!!!

I definitely feel like I'm going to say nothing intelligent, probably babble on about how much I love her work, and generally make her never ever want to work with us.

I am the epitome of "un-cool."

Wish us luck!

D-I-Y ... Do You Dare?

D-I-Y Centerpiece Clusters

What you need: Glass Vases, Scrapbook Paper and Real or Silk Flowers

Glass Vases- Anywhere between $1.00 at Dollar Tree or $30 for 12 from saveoncrafts.com (<3)

Scrapbook Paper- $0.19 a sheet (plus don't forget to use your Michael's coupon for 20% off your entire purchase, or, if you're buying a big pad of paper, go to JoAnn's for the 40% off a regular priced item)

Flowers - Roughly $5 per table (using 3 vases)
    
     Real- Florists would probably take the charm out of the whole "D-I-Y" factor, so, buy a nice bouquet and dissect it. Good chance you will only need 1 per table, and if you buy off-beat flowers from either the nice man on the side of the road, or Sam's Club/ CostCo, you're probably looking at $3-$5 a table.

     Silk- Again, snatch up your coupons and head to Michael's or JoAnn's (or Pat Catan's!) and grab a big cluster of silk flowers that you can cut (you will probably need a sharp knife) and play around with. If you have a fall wedding and your engagement time-line allows, buy your fall flowers in winter to get stems and bunches for as little as $0.25!

And when it comes to labor? That's what bridesmaids and family are for. :)


All in all, these Centerpiece Clusters are easily made for less than $10 a table, and could be used not only for the big day, but for a shower or rehearsal dinner, or even in the middle of your own table for a "Bridal Party Party!"

The Standard for Wedding Excellence

Okay, I have news. But, I do understand that the rest of the world just may not understand what makes my boat float, so, let's put this in perspective.

Mark Zuckerburg, you know that Facebook guy, created Facebook in the hopes of being invited to be a member of a Finals club at Harvard. This is like that.

Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera gave up their childhoods (and later, a whole ton of dignity) to be a member of the Mickey Mouse Club. This is like that.

All those Bad Girls that end up on TV fighting and weave pulling? Well, guess what? They wouldn't have ended up in the Bad Girl's Club without those awesome bitch skills. This is DEFINITELY like that.

And me? Well. I'm on my way.

Today I enrolled in a Wedding Planner Certification Course that will, at the end of 15 courses and 3 projects, allow me to become a member of..... (drumroll please)

The Association of Bridal Consultants

Not only will this keep me busy and happy and oh-so-excited for the next year (and beyond!) but, after talking to a few people who actually work in the field of "Coordination," they said that every little edge helps, and a certification and professional membership could be just what I need to take a leap into a Corporate Coordination job. It's definitely the perfect time, as I have a handful of brides-to-be to bother for my projects!

Plus, seriously.... one of my projects is called "Wedding Collage." Like I don't have 10 of those hanging up in my cubicle alone....

Fashion Show

Last night, trying on dresses with Black & Yellow Bride , her MOH and her mom was like one big fashion show! We started off by grabbing just about the entire selection of short dresses off the rack (and even some long ones, per Mom's request). David’s Bridal does one of each dress in each color, so, often we ended up trying on dresses in Salmon and Capri and having to pretend we’d know what they looked like in black. This was trickier said than done, but, we were in luck! The dress that Black & Yellow Bride (and the two of us) ended up liking the most was available in Black for us to try on and see.  

It was a really fun experience, getting to put on dresses and parade around in the dressing area. MOH was booty-popping all over the dressing room, making sure the dresses passed the oh-so-important dance test!  We even tried on shoes for effect to make sure the “flirty” little number we were sporting looked good with a pair of peep toes. Now to talk Black & Yellow Bride  in to mandating peep toes….mwahahahaahha….

Thankfully, as I grow older, I realize that no one knows what the tag inside your dress says, but, everyone can see when your clothes just don’t fit. Picking the RIGHT size instead of the size that sounds good certainly aids in not crying over split zippers. The dress selection at David’s was great, and we did actually even find a few to choose from. Their color selection is also extensive, and that, I’m sure, comes in handy to those gals looking for just the right shade of Lime Green. (They have it!)

Really, there was only one issue I had with our time at David’s Bridal, and it’s the one that I see most Brides and BM’s complaining about on their boards and Facebook page. Customer Service. I suppose I just expect everything that involves brides and “their people” to be an occasion where salespeople would dote on you and pay attention to only you. In seeing the amount of people they scheduled appointments for, and the amount of staff they had on site, it seems David’s Bridal isn’t equipped for that kind of attention, or, really, as we saw last night, to even answer the phone when it rings. Perhaps they could try booking less appointments (if you’re going to David’s, you’re going to David’s. You will wait until next Wednesday), or hiring more consultants. I’d work part time. Hire me. I can’t say that our consultant was not nice, because she was, she was helpful when she was there, and the woman at the front desk was certainly helpful and knowledgeable, and definitely personable. Maybe the whole “experience” with David’s isn’t meant to be exclusive, like it tends to be at boutiques, which is fine for Bridesmaids shopping, but, I think will be looking elsewhere when it comes my time for “THE DRESS.”

I’m far too much of a diva to not want a personal attendant on my shopping day.

Always a Bridesmaid...

Well, certainly not always, as this is my first go-around, but, tonight I am headed out Bridesmaid (BM) dress shopping with Black & Yellow Bride, as she will be known from here on out. Black & Yellow Bride is getting married in September of this year, and I couldn't be more excited! She and her fiance', who clearly will be called Black & Yellow Groom are very close friends of mine and my manfriend's, and we are both so happy to be able to share their big day with them! (Manfriend is Black & Yellow Groom's best man). 

Back to tonight....

Black & Yellow Bride and I, along with her MOH and her mom, are meeting up at David's Bridal tonight to check out what we hope is their vast selection of short, black dresses. I have never been BM dress shopping before, not even as a tag-along, so I will no doubt have a lot to say about the experience...

Here's to slimming dresses and lots of laughs! Wish me luck :)

"One shoe can change your life..."

Just ask Cinderella.
For A Shoe-A-Holic by Leeann Marie Photography

Can't stand how cute some of these are. And of course, any picture from Leeann Marie Photography are stunning just by general rule.

My coveted wedding shoes - - -

Carrie Bradshaw's "Going out of Business Sex" shoes. The ones Miranda's water broke on? The ones that went on the carriage ride with Mr. Big through Central Park, just before he fled to Napa? Swoon.

Something...

Something old, Something new
Something borrowed, Something blue

...If you haven't heard that saying, raise your hands. Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

Okay, so, if you're interested in me or my blog, there's a good chance you're familiar with this age-old wedding custom. But do you know why Brides need to fill these four requirements before walking down the aisle?

Each item in the poem represents a good luck token for the bride. If she carries all of them on her wedding day, it is said that her marriage will be happy.

"Something Old" symbolizes continuity with the bride's family and the past. This could be represented by something that was left to you by a late relative, or something being passed down to you from prior generations. A bride's "something old" could be as traditional as a grandparent's wedding picture in a vintage locket, or as interesting as her fiance's first baby tooth.

"Something New" provides optimism and hope for the bride's new life ahead. This pieces is supposed to represent something you are adopting through your marriage or something that is unique to your new union. Sticking the key to your new home on a ribbon wrapped around your bouquet or even simply spraying a new perfume or slipping on new shoes will fit the bill here.

"Something Borrowed" is usually a loaned item from a happily married friend or family member, whose good fortune in love and marriage is supposed to rub off on the bride through the trinket. This item can also remind the bride that her friends and family are rooting for the marriage, and help warm any cold feet. A bride could request an old button up from their Maid of Honor to wear while getting hair and make-up done, or simply ask her future mother-in-law to pony up that stand of pearls she has always admired. 

Finally, "Something Blue" adds a bit of flair and color to the wedding. While many think that the "blue" was only included because it rhymes with new, the color has actually been around in weddings for quite some time. In ancient Rome, brides wore blue to symbolize love, modesty and fidelity, and before the late 19th century, blue was a popular Wedding Gown color, perhaps as an homage to the often blue-clad Virgin Mary and her purity. Today, a lot of brides have taken to the trend of wearing blue shoes, peaking them out from under their gowns for a great photo-op. Blue garters and blue panties are also popular, mainly because not many wedding color schemes allow for integration of the color blue.

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Where am I going with this? I think that bridal traditions, weddings and just about everything associated with them are the bees knees. I could (and would, just ask my friends) talk weddings all night and day. If I had my druthers, I would get paid to plan them. Maybe one day. But until then, I simply offer, through this blog, through my own ideas as well as the re-posting of others (with due credit, of course)...

Something Coordinated.